Tuesday, January 3, 2012

In January 2011, i got evrything mre thn i asked fr. Bt in December 2011, i lost it.
Along th way, i was immature, insensitive, confused, unreasonable, i was 18 and i was such a child. I was always taking things fr granted, making his kindness as a weakness knwing tht he'll always forgive me. Bt wht i did was beyond my capability bt thrs no excuse fr tht.
I always believe in us and our future. Mayb its jus rly dumb fr me to think tht by th fact tht im still young and nothing rly last forever. Wht th fuck was i thinking? Thinking we're invincible.
I knw we hve a lot of differences. He is jus literally clever and smart and I'm nt. And he'll be successful while i still hve mre years in school, tht being said, if i make it to poly. He prays to God bcos its his duty to, i jus pray whn i dont wnt things to happen. He always think abt th future, and im jus thnkful i passed thru a day.
So nw, im hving a lot of doubts. I dont wnt to give up, i wnt to fight still. Im afraid one day he doesnt wnt to do th same thing anymre. Cos its looks like he doesnt believe me anymre, cos actions prove louder thn words. And im bck here bhind th screen literally typing words and nt doing anything again.
I dont deserve him anyway, obvsly someone else cn do a better job at loving him and appreciating him and he dont hve to waste time and hve someone hold him bck jus bcos he is waiting fr a child to grow up.

No comments:

Post a Comment